Obits For My Babies

I lost all four of my pigs this summer. All of them. PBC, Smores, Penny, Poppy. To say there isn't a hole in my chest is a lie. I feel their absence constantly. 

I have a new piggie I bought when PBC passed away weirdly during the night, Charley Bear. Charley Bear is a lot like PBC. Except she's a little more restless and a little more distrustful of people. But man, do I love my Charley. She's been a godsend for me lately, even when she runs off my couch and tries to divebomb my carpet (note: I rarely let her do that). 

But man. When they say life takes, it takes. And to quote Sufjan Stevens, "And he takes, and and he takes, and he takes."

And he takes. 

Even objectively speaking I don't think I deserved this. To wake up to one pig dead. To come home to another passed away under her water bottle. To put down two pigs, one being the best friend I've ever known. I think life played some sort of cruel joke on me; take away her favorite part of life, it's okay, it will make her stronger. Needless simplicity - no one loses loved ones to be stronger. 

The only thing that felt as bad to me is when my Dad died and my ex-girlfriend broke up with me in one week of each other. I thought, well, life can't get worse. But sometimes life takes away the things that are most precious to you. The little friends who crowd around you when you have a bad day or the little friends who lick your tears away when another girl needlessly breaks your heart.

For the pigs:

"I don't have any questions. I don't think it's going to rain. You were right about the end; it didn't make a difference."

Here are my obits for the best friends I've ever known. I will never forget the impact on my life any of these guys had. 

Peanut Butter Cup (PBC)

You were so sweet. You crawled up in my hair and purred the moment I met you. I remember falling asleep with Elliott Smith to you. How you used to wheek at my microwave. "Wheek, wheek?" What is that?! It's a microwave, PBC. You loved Smores so much. I only hope you two are galloping together in GP heaven. When you died, it felt like a knife went through my heart. You didn't deserve that, but you were probably too good for this world. Hell, you were.

Penny (2012 - 2017)

You were my blind pig. But far more than that. When Mocha died, Smores loved you so much. She hung out with you constantly. She humped you a few times, I know. But you were so sweet. I remember you looking into my eyes with your cloudy ones. My ex used to call you "Pen-Pen." Little Penny, you didn't deserve the hand you were dealt with in life. You licked my hands whenever I came to pick you up. You loved me; you loved Smores; you loved Poppy. I'm sure you're all together now, popcorning in guinea pig heaven. 

Poppy (2011 - 2017)

You were my Big Momma. I remember my ex thought you were boring. But then, when she left (BYE FELICIA), I got to know you. And you were just so damn sweet. Lots of kisses, lots of confused glances. Earlier this year, you started starving of no where. My friend Ashley came over and gave you a ton of fruit. I was scared because I had never had her to my apartment and my apartment was a mess. You were just like, "I'm Poppy." You got big and healthy. I'm so happy I got to give you a hug and kiss before you were put down. I love you, Big Momma.

Smores (2012 - 2017)

I got you in January 2013. And I was like, "I will never like guinea pigs that much as I did when I was a kid because everyone will think I'm a freak." Then I met you, Smores. I met you, and I didn't even give a fuck. Why? Because you were Smores. You loved me from the moment I took you home. I played No Doubt softly for you, and you burrowed into my neck. You were, absolutely, the best friend I've ever had. You were there for me when Dad died. You were there when my relationship fell apart. You saw me come home in terrible states, bawling. You still loved me. You still sat with me. You saw me go through a slew of girls; you saw me when my job went to hell and I looked elsewhere. You met everyone important to me. You met kids; you loved kids. You loved everyone. You were the Alpha Pig, you dominated everyone. But you adored me, and I adored you more than anything. Every morning, before I went to work. I'd sit with you and drink coffee. "Smores, I love you more than anything." I'd kiss your fur and leave lipstick marks in it. When they put you down, you still had my kisses in your fur. Smores, I honestly have no idea what I'm going to do without you. I already look for you everywhere. I miss you, best friend, and this hurts more than any loss I've ever known. I miss you. I will never stop missing you. 

<3