PREQUEL - Read here . (Yes, I really like the font Georgia, okay?! It reminds me of my careless youth.) I am a 29-year-old woman with four guinea pigs, or as I like to refer to them, my starter pack for not getting laid. This is not entirely an exaggeration. They are as follows: - Smores, the John Lennon. She was my first pig. She has been my best friend these past several years. Strong and sassy, she has a temper but loves to cuddle with me. - Penny, the Blind Pig/Ringo Starr. She's super-neurotic, cries a lot, and tends to scream at anything that scares her (read : everything). She also yawns every time I pick her up and I'm still not quite sure why. I got her in 2013. - Poppy, the George Harrison. Why? Because she's chill AF. Probably because she's really old but all good. - Anddd PBC (short for Peanut Butter Cup), the Paul McCartney. I say this because all the girls love her. And why would they not?! She's so tiny! She's like a chipmunk.